Habits - Posting Challenge - Day 4

So today is all about a habit I wished I didn't have. There are so many to choose from.

I suppose I will astound friend and foe alike by saying...I wish I was a little more positive.

And before anyone decided to go get their hearing checked, let me qualify that statement--what I really mean is I wish I was less like my mother. I have had a vivid reminder of how my mother operates, and while there are many good things I could say about her, her doomday predictions make me was to slam her head into the nearest wall repeatedly. I had nearly forgotten how much her negativity brought me down or how deeply her doubts sliced into my self esteem. I have managed to curb the tendency to be that bad myself, but I have not quashed it.

Don't get me wrong, I will never be Pollyanna, and I never hope to be one. Too much sweetness and light tends to give me screaming fits, and I run put on dark music or angry horror movies to make the teeth grating cheeriness dissipate. I do not believe in the best of humanity, and I am a firm believer in Murphy's Law. In fact, I sometimes suspect I am Murphy's butt boy.

But...there is a limit. And it's a limit I often cross.

I'm not even sure how to tackle this one because I'm never sure when I'm doing it. Can't ask my friends, as every one of them has a different definition of "negative," and the ones living closest to me are the cheeriest. Honestly, I think they're genetically predispositioned to it somewhere in their DNA. All I really want is a better balance, and maybe a justified belief in the best of things again.

This one will probably take some thought.
And therapy.
And possibly a miracle.

...was that negative?